The Five Love Languages

By on

think-you-dont-like-romance-novels-ftrI can’t remember how many years ago I heard about The Five Love Languages, but I don’t think I had all of my children yet, so that’s at least 20 years. The knowledge from this book makes relationships make more sense. Everyone has a primary “love language” and when that area of need is being met, they feel more loved. Even if you feel like you are always telling the other person how much you love them and how great they are, if Words of Affirmation isn’t their love language, they’re not feeling it. The five languages are: Acts of Service, Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch, Quality Time and Receiving Gifts.

Love-LanguagesHere’s a basic definition of each:

Acts of Service– the ideal expression of love for this person is “What can I do for you?” Your loved one helping you with tasks you don’t like or when you’re stressed- that’s the ideal. Always leaving you with the housework is a big deal to this person.

Words of Affirmation- for this person, actions don’t speak louder than words. Telling you how they feel about you is the ultimate expression of love. Never complimenting this person about anything will make love grow colder.

Physical Touch- touching your loved one makes you feel loved the most. This doesn’t necessarily mean sex, but needing to hold hands or sit close on the couch. Lots of women think this must be their husband’s love language, but that’s not necessarily true.

Quality Time– just spending time together makes you feel loved more than fancy words or helping around the house. Full, undivided attention (no smart phones, tvs, even food) is what makes this work. Postponing plans or distractions bug this person and make them feel unloved.

Receiving Gifts– for this person, receiving a gift means more than any other expression of love. It isn’t necessarily a materialistic need, but more that the thought and effort that was put into getting the gift. Missing a birthday is a huge deal to this person.

Knowing my propensity for all kinds of personality tests, you won’t be surprised that I took this test years ago, and I’ve taken it multiple times since then. I always get the same answer, so I think it’s pretty accurate. How do you know which love language you are? You can take this free quiz:

http://www.5lovelanguages.com

Answer the question about if you’re in a relationship or single, and the test will start.

And, if you can, have your loved ones take the test, too. Even children have love languages and knowing your child’s will make it easier to help them feel loved.

As Valentine’s Day approaches, knowing which love language your spouse is could help you give the best Valentine.

IMG_8898If you’re wondering, my love language is Receiving Gifts and my husband’s is Acts of Service. (our last place languages are almost mirrors of each other’s number one) That means we are very different. Knowing our love languages makes it easier to make the other feel loved.

What’s your love language? Do you think it’s accurate?

 

 

The 52 Lists Project

By on

IMG_9094My husband got me this fabulous book for Christmas. I’m excited to fill it out. Trying to get over the need to write my lists in a plain notebook and then copy them into the pretty book in my best handwriting. I’m a list lover by nature. It is how I keep track of everything. I have notebooks and lists going all over the place. So this book is a no-brainer of a gift for me.

From time to time, I will share the list I am working on. I’m hoping to use some of them in my scrapbooking, too. The first list in the book is the one I’m sharing today.

LIST YOUR GOALS AND DREAMS FOR THE YEAR

I do think there is power in writing goals down. Here goes:

  1. Get to my desired healthy weight and stay there (effortlessly, if we’re dreaming)
  2. Organize, to include purging and backing up, my digital photos.
  3. House cleared of all clutter. I have a good start on this, but don’t want to peter out before it’s really all been gone through.
  4. Regular Bible study and prayer time on my own.
  5. Paint Alex’s room, Tony’s room, kids’ bathroom, new ceiling fixtures in the hallways (I actually have a separate list of household goals for the year.)
  6. Scrapbook regularly, working on photography and storytelling while I do.
  7. Read 100 books. I’m already behind on this, but there’s definitely time.
  8. Write 100 blog posts. That’s only 2 per week, so I hope I can keep that up, and maybe exceed that.
  9. That Mark A and I will be even closer at the end of the year. We’ve been doing better since we started intentionally dating, but he is gone a lot, so it takes effort.
  10. That all three of my kids will be happy and successful in their own eyes. They are all in different places, so that will be different for each of them.
  11. To visit DC more often (4x a year, min.) and see museum exhibits I’m interested in.

6909851-paradise-beach-maldives

One of the exercises I did when I was searching for my word for the year was one I have done a few different times in my life: Imagine your perfect day, from the time you wake up until you go to bed that night. It had me imagine my surroundings, what I did (and didn’t do) with my time, what I ate, who I spent time with, etc. Then, instead of looking at the exact details of the day, I was to look at how I was feeling on my ideal day. That is what was important, trying to get that feeling into my life, not just the specifics of what I did or ate, or what my house looked like. For some reason, this year, my vision of the perfect day has sort of stuck with me. There is a lot of calm and happiness in my ideal day. Spending time doing things that matter to me, even if they don’t matter much to anyone else. I think it’s a good exercise for anyone. I keep trying to make sure I’m making the right choices for me.

Are you a list maker?